★ Victory Edition ★ The War Is Over ★ Victory Edition ★
THE RESIGNATION TIMES
♦ ♦ ♦
“All the Quits That’s Fit to Print”
VICTORY
Bulletin — Official
HE QUIT!
Andreas Resigns; Nation Erupts in Joy as Years-Long Employment Finally Ends
Strangers embraced in the streets today as word spread that Andreas has, at long last,
quit his job. Church bells rang. Ticker tape fell. “I never doubted him for a
second,” said everyone, in unison.
The man himself, photographed moments after filing the paperwork. Witnesses describe his expression as “employed by no one.”
§
Time Since Liberation
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Days
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Hours
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Minutes
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Seconds
After an editorial run defined entirely by the word “NO,” this newspaper is proud — and, frankly, unemployed — to report the answer is YES. The Resignation Watch has concluded. The watchmen are going home. Andreas already did.